It is well with my soul - Part 1

In my last post, I mentioned that I have been frequently asked how I have stayed emotionally and spiritually healthy while serving as a hospital chaplain during a pandemic.  My world has been a bit different from the non-hospital pandemic world.  When I am at the grocery store in public, Covid might be around me. 

However, when I’m at the hospital in the ICU, there is no “might be” – Covid IS all around you.  Then you put on PPE and go into a room…and you know you are surrounded by Covid.  You see people die and often have gotten to know their families – they are not statistics, they are fellow human beings.  Even as you are providing care for patients, families, and teammates, you are silently praying you do not get Covid and die (or carry it home to your family and one of them dies.)

I am used to stress of all different kinds.  Prior to becoming a pastor, I worked for one of the largest companies in the country and was responsible for millions of dollars each day.  When something went wrong…well…I…um…heard about it.  As a pastor, I have responded to terrible tragedies and walked into some incredibly difficult rooms. I have dealt with serious stress before.

The Covid pandemic has been different…it has been several orders of magnitude harder.  Saying things have been crazy is such an understatement. I have been swimming in a sea of grief, fear, and anxiety for two years.  And yet, I think I have stayed emotionally and spiritually healthy throughout.  I do not have special powers or a secret sauce…I am a pretty ordinary Christ-follower trying to live faithfully in my little part of this big world.  After being asked numerous times how I have kept going, I reflected on what practices have sustained me during this most challenging season of my life. 

I have realized that two simple practices have kept me going – and maybe you will find these practices helpful in your own life.  I’ll share a bit about the first practice in this post and I’ll follow-up with another post about the second practice.

One thing I have managed to do is stay rooted in Scripture.  This looks a lot different now than it did BC (before Covid).  Back then, I participated in a weekly Sunday School class, the occasional Bible study, and practiced Lectio Divina with some regularity.  Now, my Scripture time is less structured and planned.

I am not one of those people who can quote dozens of scriptures chapter and verse.  However, thanks to my prior study of scripture, there are several passages of scripture that I lean on heavily.  Proverbs 3:5-6, Mathew 28:20, Romans 8:1, 8:28, 8:38-39, Philippians 4:4-13, Psalm 23, and Psalm 46 have been my spiritual roots during the past two years.  I have leaned on them daily and often incorporate parts of these verses into my prayers.

As I move from one intense situation to the next at my hospital, I have also relied on breath prayer.  If you are unfamiliar with this form of prayer, let me share a very basic explanation.  As you breathe in a deep breath through your nose, meditate on the first part of a brief scripture.  Hold the breath for a few seconds.  Breathe out slowly through your mouth and meditate on the second half of the scripture you are using.  Repeat this 15-20 times.  Here are three of my favorite breath prayers:

                [Breathe in] The Lord is my shepherd, [hold], [Breathe out] I shall not want.

                [Breathe in] Trust in the Lord, [hold], [Breathe out] with all your heart.

                [Breathe in] Be thou my vision, [hold], [Breathe out] Lord of my heart.

This practice re-centers my body and my soul.  Repeating a scripture 15-20 times clears out the “noise” in my mind and reminds me of the presence of God.  At the same time, the deep breathing has positive physical aspects and helps relieve stress I might be feeling. Note - there are other similar forms of breath prayer, but this is the one I use.

You have to figure out what works for you and your setting.   My friend Rev. Dr. Shannon Karafanda has a great post offering ideas about staying connected to Scripture. Check them out on her website here. I have had to adapt and be creative, but staying engaged with Scripture on a daily basis has been essential to my well-being during the pandemic.  Wherever you are and whatever your flavor of craziness looks like, I encourage you to find a way to stay rooted in Scripture on a daily basis.

In my next post, I’ll share another practice that has been essential for me.